poetry

“If Librarians Were Honest…”

alphabooksIn honor of Banned Books Week, I have been thinking a lot about books mean to me and what it would be like to not be able to ever read certain ones again. A book is a powerful thing, it can offer new ideas, allow empathy to bloom, and shed light in inner emotions and connections. Which leads me back to a poem that I’ve been meaning to publish on here for awhile.

It describes exactly the way I feel about a book, any book, all books. How they change and impact you, how they can alter your perceptions and expand your world. There are few things in this world that have that capability, to have such a profound ability to kill you where you stand and raise you from the depths of your personal hell. They can make you laugh, cry, cringe, dissolve, reform, rave, rant, become more determined and understanding, waste an entire day, drink three cups of tea, fall off your chair, ignore the world around you.


If Librarians Were Honest – Joe Mills

If librarians were honest,

they wouldn’t smile, or act

welcoming. They would say,

You need to be careful. Here

be monsters. They would say,

These rooms house heathens

and heretics, murderers and

maniacs, the deluded, desperate,

and dissolute. They would say,

These books contain knowledge

of death, desire, and decay,

betrayal, blood, and more blood;

each is a Pandora’s box, so why

would you want to open one.

They would post danger

signs warning that contact

might result in mood swings,

severe changes in vision,

and mind-altering effects.

If librarians were honest

they would admit the stacks

can be more seductive and

shocking than porn. After all,

once you’ve seen a few

breasts, vaginas, and penises,

more is simply more,

a comforting banality,

but the shelves of a library

contain sensational novelties,

a scandalous, permissive mingling

of Malcolm X, Marx, Melville,

Merwin, Millay, Milton, Morrison,

and anyone can check them out,

taking them home or to some corner

where they can be debauched

and impregnated with ideas.

If librarians were honest,

they would say, No one

spends time here without being

changed. Maybe you should

go home. While you still can. 

(Source: http://www.libraryasincubatorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Mills_If_Librarians_Were_Honest.pdf)

Original Work Friday: More

I’m not the girl I used to be;

stronger in some ways,

weaker in others.

Old cracks have been repaired

while new ones split wide open.

The past has an impact,

it filters through time;

there is no escape

but I decide how to handle it,

to let it influence or ignore.

The future is now,

no time like the present

to become who I want to be

and to stay who I am,

to know my own worth.

I will still make mistakes,

I will still stumble and second-guess,

but I am in charge of my fate

and I have learned from before.

I am more than I was.

katME

Original Work Friday: ‘Til You Make It

Sometimes you just have to grin

and bear it.

Put on a happy face

even when your insides feel shredded

and your heart is torn in pieces.

Pretend it doesn’t bother you

say it’s all okay.

Sometimes it’s all you can do to say sane,

to stay standing

when your legs are about to give

and the world is collapsing around you.

The loneliness creeps in and

you start to believe it.

Losing the faith you had in yourself

as you watch the happiness fade.

Sometimes the tears, the pain

are all the focus you can handle.

Because without that,

you might just fall to pieces

and can’t be put back together again.

Rage against it,

fake it ’til you make it

and keep standing tall,

smile with everything you have.

Because that just might be

enough to get you by.

Song of Myself

tbc

I too watched “The Breakfast Club” last night on ABCFamily and as always, some new thought strikes me while I view. I cringe and laugh in equal measure and even cry alongside the characters, re: Johnson asking about what happens on Monday.

This time, it made me reflect back on my own formative high school years and how often I judge the generation that is now in those shoes. What stories and secrets are hiding behind the smiles and the cell phones? How has the world changed in terms of how people relate since I was in high school less than a decade ago?

So when I saw this post by Slightly Chic, I thought it would be a good time to evaluate who I think I am and who I thought I would become back in high school.

If you had asked my high school freshman self where I thought I would be in 10 years (holy crap, has it really been that long?!), I probably would have said something about living in California, maybe in med school, maybe living in a house on the ocean.

If you had asked my high school senior self where I thought I would in 2014, I would probably have said that I would be married and working at a well-paying job and own a house probably on the east coast but not in my home state. I may or may not have mentioned kids but animals would definitely have been present.


So what’s the reality? Who am I today?

  • I have a Bachelor of Science in Management from a top business school
  • I am currently re-enrolled in school, after a 3 year break, to get my Master of Library Science
  • I do not have a high-paying job but am currently a GA which pays my tuition plus a stipend (perks!)
  • I am not married
  • Nor do I have any kids yet
  • My cat died this past December, a fact that I am still not over, so no pets at the moment
  • I am a blogger
  • I am striving to be a role model to young women
  • I have written (and edited at least 7 times) my first novel
  • I am seeking a literary agent to help me get published
  • I am an avid reader
  • I am addicted to CWTV, in particular Supernatural and The Originals (I miss Smallville!)
  • I seem to keep moving further from my home state
  • I have no idea where I want my first house to be
  • I am once again living with family (living with children gives you an interesting perspective on life)
  • I have an amazing support system of family and friends
  • According to Jung, I am now an introvert, although I used to be an extrovert
  • I know I want to teach college courses later in life
  • I might go on to get my PhD

So what does all of this actually add up to? Well I’m not sure. But I think it means that I’m simply human. And in fact, I’m very happy with my life. Being in school is a great opportunity for me and if I could get paid to go forever, then I would. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to leave a mark, I want to be heard. I’ve realized that there are plenty of types of love that can fulfill you, not just romantic love and that true friends are always there for you.

There is no right or wrong answer to who you are, because you are who you are. You can change that and become who you want to be if you work hard enough (but most people don’t put in the effort). Labels are only powerful if we let them be. Example: I was watching the Disney channel (hey, I live with a 10 yr old girl now) and a great Friends for Change commercial came on with Raini Rodriguez (from Austin & Ally, in case you are wondering) who talked about a leadership camp she attended and how their discussions on bullying and labeling really impacted her.

I love that so many young people are getting involved and trying to make a difference in the world. And I hope that it continues to be that way. And that I get a chance to do the same. This blog (and my twitter: kataweb416) are my start.

So who am I?

I’m Katherine (Kat) Webber, author, poet, dreamer, introvert, friend, caregiver, sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, student, woman, nerd, reader, blogger, writer, foodie, traveler, planner, and enjoyer of life.

Who are you? Who do you want to be?

(PS – I stole the title from one of my favorite Walt Whitman poems  of the same name.)

Obsession

Obsession by Kat Webber

The puzzle revolves, evolves, never solves

The brain is at war with itself

To determine the facts, the truth,

To see with clarity, to know in absolutes again.

 

Is the world tilted or is that just how it appears?

Are these pieces even of the same puzzle?

Or is there more?

What is this daily jumble doing in my head?

 

How does this take root and grow?

Why do I keep feeding it?

I am my own worst enemy

And my mind is the best weapon I possess.

 

There is a puzzle in my head

And none of the pieces seem to fit together.

At first glance, they may appear similar,

But change once I look away.

 

The images move and float

With whimsy and distortion

Confusing to the eye within

And torture for the mind.

 

What they are never changes

But the doubt creeps

Like a poisonous plague

Upon this brilliant plane of existence.

 

The puzzle cannot be resolved

Without a reason or truth

What is the truth?

The real shapes, images, thoughts?