Words of Wisdom

Top Ten Tuesday: Nov 24

Top Ten Tuesday

November 24: Thanksgiving themed Freebie — ten books I’m thankful for, authors I’m thankful for, Ten fictional families I’d like to celebrate Thanksgiving with, a personal non-bookish thankful list, etc. etc.

 

Ten things, Bookish and not, that I am thankful for:

  1. My family
  2. My health
  3. Libraries + all the free materials and resources they provide, especially the numerous books and WiFi
  4. My favorite authors, which are too plentiful to enumerate here
  5. Clean drinking water for my Nalgene, coffee, and tea
  6. My relative sanity during this time of stress
  7. My job and the income it provides
  8. Free time to read my books
  9. Warmth during these cold months and a roof over my head
  10. My followers and all their support, thank you!

 

Wish you all a very happy and gratuitous Thanksgiving, may it be filled with warmth, joy, and laughter. And please, stay home instead of shopping. This time of year is about family, whether related to you or not (friends and significant others and pets count!), so take one day and devote it to them. There will be plenty of time for shopping, or thinking of creative hand-made gifts for everyone after November 26.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Hi everyone! It’s been a long while since I did one of these posts and it’s not Wednesday anymore but that day got away from me, so instead, you get TWO posts today! YAY!

As you know, I’m in grad school. As you may not know, I am taking a leadership class. For this class, I had interview someone that I saw as a leadership for the end of the semester paper. I chose one of my good friends who is not only an amazing person but also a fantastic leader. He and I skype for nearly two hours, catching up, exchanging ideas, and having me pick his brain about his leadership style, difficult situations that he has faced, things he has learned, and just generally what his journey has been like so far.

And boy, did I learn a lot!

There are lovely nuggets that I want to share with all of you today, things that really resonated with me and made me question everything that I have been doing lately.

#1: Question everything.

Doesn’t matter who said it, where it comes from, or how it is happening, question it. Don’t just take things at face value, don’t be afraid to dig deeper and discover what is really going on. “Question the artificial barriers we have built up in our minds.” Question rules, people. Question your own excuses.

who did you notice more#2: Be observant; look for patterns.

Everything has a sequence of events, anything that happens to you and your reaction to it is a result of a previous circumstance. When you see someone who is successful or beautiful, write down why you think that. Do it over and over again until you can see the pattern and figure out why you think that someone is successful or beautiful and then figure out how you can do it in your own life.

#3: Take the blame.

No one wants to do it, to accept responsibility for their mistakes or those of their team but you will earn respect by doing so. By publicly stating it was your fault, no one can say it behind your back and make you feel bad about it. Own the blame, say it loudly and often; this is especially important as a leader, no one cares about the excuses, they want results.

#4: Create a clear plan.

Give yourself steps to success. Create bite size, manageable steps to get closer. Don’t do meaningless things or things that won’t matter until you accomplish something else; do what needs to be done next and give yourself a victory, even if it’s small so you can move forward.

#5: Stand out.

Don’t be afraid to be different from everyone else. People will notice someone who stands apart more than they will someone who blends in with the crowd. Take your idea and really push it, be unique.

So, thanks to Brian, I have begun to question everything that I am working for and deciding if it’s really where I want to be, what I want to be doing. Life isn’t life unless you are happy and I need to do more of the things that make me happy and help work towards my personal goals. Mainly, this means going back to working on getting my manuscript published, even looking into self-publishing again, to see what can be done about it. I might be in grad school because it presents great opportunities for real world jobs, but do I really want to just have a fall back? What do I really want to be doing and why am I not doing it?

If you’d like to know more about my friend, who is an entrepreneur, leader, and great inspiration; here is a link to his Web site: http://www.brianlofrumento.com/

Original Work Friday: More

I’m not the girl I used to be;

stronger in some ways,

weaker in others.

Old cracks have been repaired

while new ones split wide open.

The past has an impact,

it filters through time;

there is no escape

but I decide how to handle it,

to let it influence or ignore.

The future is now,

no time like the present

to become who I want to be

and to stay who I am,

to know my own worth.

I will still make mistakes,

I will still stumble and second-guess,

but I am in charge of my fate

and I have learned from before.

I am more than I was.

katME

Live In Your Strength

Last night I received some cheesy but much needed advice…from a bag of tea. Yogi Tea Products puts inspirational notes on the tags of all of its tea bags and I’ve been trying to drink a cup of their “Detox” tea every day to help filter out some of the junk that lives in my body and immune system. Yesterday’s inspiration was the title of this post: Live In Your Strength.

What does this mean to me? This means being true to yourself and owning who you are, not letting other people talk you down or be ashamed of what you need to get through the day (even if it’s a hug and chocolate bar). Lately, I’ve been feeling a little like someone else is running my life and I have been running myself ragged to please them and not getting what I need in return, not a good feeling.

So I’m going to embrace who I am: a neurotic, OCD-filled, anxious, organized, perfectionist, detail-orientated, nerdy, affectionate, loyal person who gets in her own way a lot and doesn’t have as much confidence as she should.

And that’s OKAY.

I’m not perfect. I have flaws. And not everyone is going to be equipped to deal with them. And that’s okay. Because I have an amazing support system of people who love me and care about me and who genuinely want what is best for me. So the only people I need to think about other than myself is them.

My strength lies in my willingness to help and to take the lead, to reach out to others, my strive to succeed, my caring nature, my support for those I love, and my ability to push others and myself to be their best. My strength lies in navigating the world in such a way that works with my quirks, not against them. Yes, I am growing to be more flexible and patient. And this year, I have a goal to be more positive. But that’s doesn’t mean I have to change who I am entirely…or even all that much. Sometimes all I need is to take a deep breath, a step back, and look at the option that will play to my strength, not prey on my “weakness”.

How are you going to live in your strength?

Original Work Friday: ‘Til You Make It

Sometimes you just have to grin

and bear it.

Put on a happy face

even when your insides feel shredded

and your heart is torn in pieces.

Pretend it doesn’t bother you

say it’s all okay.

Sometimes it’s all you can do to say sane,

to stay standing

when your legs are about to give

and the world is collapsing around you.

The loneliness creeps in and

you start to believe it.

Losing the faith you had in yourself

as you watch the happiness fade.

Sometimes the tears, the pain

are all the focus you can handle.

Because without that,

you might just fall to pieces

and can’t be put back together again.

Rage against it,

fake it ’til you make it

and keep standing tall,

smile with everything you have.

Because that just might be

enough to get you by.

Forgive & Forget…or Not

forgive not forgetI’ve been having an internal debate lately. Is it better to forgive and forget or will those who truly need your forgiveness never be forgotten?

Sometimes the past comes back to haunt you. Sometimes someone you think has walked away for good makes a sudden reappearance. There’s never a good time for this to happen, let’s be honest and get that out of the way now. Normally, this will happen at two possible times: when you are very happy or when you are very low.

For me, it happens to be a low point. I’m dealing with lots of stress from school, being away from my family for the holidays, living further than ever from home, and just general frustration with life.

I suppose there is a lot to be said for forgiving someone who has wronged you and then proceeding to forget about them. But if you forget about them isn’t that sort of like pretending what they did never happened? On the other side of that, does the wound continue to fester if you forgive but don’t forget?

I think that if you can forgive and then proceed to put it behind you without ever forgetting what the person did f and f happinessbut trying not to dwell on it and let it color everything else in your life, then you’re doing okay. And that’s what I had been doing.

Forgiving wasn’t easy and moving on was even more difficult. But you hit the point, the wall, where you just can’t take it anymore, where the person has hurt you so bad or so many times that it becomes hard to look at them, let alone interact with them in any significant way.

So when they inevitably come waltzing back into your life in one way or another, what is proper protocol for dealing with that? Is it easier to tell them you forgive them but don’t want them in your life? Or if you’ve truly forgiven, should you allow them another chance?

What if they’ve already had a bunch of chances but they kept destroying you every time you held out a hand to them? Is it okay to tell them they are forgiven but no longer have a place in your life? Or is that petty?forgiveness

Those closest to us are often the best equipped to cut us the deepest, hurt us for the longest, and turn our emotions back on to ourselves. Which brings me to the second point: if you’ve forgiven the other person, does that also mean you’ve forgiven yourself?

In my case, this person had several opportunities granted to them and I practically fell over myself to offer those every single time. And every single time, without fail, the person turned on me, made me feel guilty, that it was my “fault” for ruining things and became a source of anguish, anger, and tears. So I put my foot down and after the last time, over a year ago, decided that I didn’t want to deal with it anymore, that I knew I deserved better than what I was getting. Which is now pretty much shot to hell.

I’m the type of person that is loyal to a fault (one of my best and worst qualities), even to the point where I am getting kicked like a dog. I have a hard time letting go of people I care about, regardless of how they hurt me. But I felt something break the last time and now I don’t know if it can be fixed. This person tells me it will be different, but haven’t we all heard that time and time again? How can you ever know if that’s the actual truth? How can you trust someone who didn’t have the decency to not treat you that way in the first place?

Forgive and forget. Forgive but not forget. I’m still not sure where I fall. Probably more on the latter side. Not to hold a grudge but to remember the pain and use it to make myself stronger. To build back up the walls I let fall time and time again.

Can you move on when the past keep pulling you back? I’m not sure. Sometimes it feels like I have elastics glued to the back of my shoes. I keep walking forward and they keep stretching out. Eventually they will either break or yank me back. I don’t know which I’m hoping for at this point.

Saturday Inspires – Inspirational Memes

So many good quotes and memes on here. Readers and book lovers enjoy.

Kate's Bookshelf

I love finding inspirational memes online. Usually they come from Facebook and Tumblr, and I collect them in a “Quotes” file. I pull them up to send people or post here… That’s what I’ve been using for my Sunday posts this month. From sexy to writing quotes, they are just so much fun to me. I love reading them and I’d love to chalk them on the sidewalk all over town. Just think how much fun it would be to step out of your door and see some inspirational writing that can be washed away by the next rain.

So enjoy some of my favorites.

Okay, so that’s a lot, and I have a bunch more, but hey, maybe they will inspire you. So feel free to copy and post somewhere yourself. Because hey, I found these myself.

Be inspired this Saturday.

Signing off

Kate

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