Original Works

Original Work Friday: More

I’m not the girl I used to be;

stronger in some ways,

weaker in others.

Old cracks have been repaired

while new ones split wide open.

The past has an impact,

it filters through time;

there is no escape

but I decide how to handle it,

to let it influence or ignore.

The future is now,

no time like the present

to become who I want to be

and to stay who I am,

to know my own worth.

I will still make mistakes,

I will still stumble and second-guess,

but I am in charge of my fate

and I have learned from before.

I am more than I was.

katME

Original Work Friday: ‘Til You Make It

Sometimes you just have to grin

and bear it.

Put on a happy face

even when your insides feel shredded

and your heart is torn in pieces.

Pretend it doesn’t bother you

say it’s all okay.

Sometimes it’s all you can do to say sane,

to stay standing

when your legs are about to give

and the world is collapsing around you.

The loneliness creeps in and

you start to believe it.

Losing the faith you had in yourself

as you watch the happiness fade.

Sometimes the tears, the pain

are all the focus you can handle.

Because without that,

you might just fall to pieces

and can’t be put back together again.

Rage against it,

fake it ’til you make it

and keep standing tall,

smile with everything you have.

Because that just might be

enough to get you by.

Magnets

Eyes lock

instantly closing

the distance.

A pull

in my gut,

magnets aligned.

I couldn’t

resist, nor

did I want to.

A long fall,

no landing

in sight.

Drifting and

spinning to

you and me.

Hearts unitetwo hearts

lust binds

life sighs.

Happiness here

love there

holding true.

Fill in

the cracks

for you

As you

prove that

this is real.

This one

will make

or break.

Either we

both commit

or both crash.

NaNoWriMo

Winner-2014-Twitter-ProfileOkay, so I lied. I forgot one very important countdown that I was participating in and that is NaNoWriMo and I just now finished.

I am officially a NaNoWriMo winner for the second year in a row!

50,000 words in 30 days on top of all my schoolwork was not easy but my final word count is 50,114 according to NaNo. Now I get a tee shirt and a cute little picture to put on my social media profiles. I am so happy about this accomplishment.

Unfortunately, it also means that I have nothing further to distract me from the goal of a finalized rough draft tonight for a paper due on Wednesday. *sigh*

Back to school work, I go.

Weekend Roundup

Friday night was Halloween and as such, it saw me sitting on the couch watching Beetlejuice with my cousin’s grandmother awaiting the few trick-or-treaters that were sure to grace the house. Mostly, I ate candy and listened to some pretty amazing stories. My cousin’s grandmother (my aunt’s mother-in-law) has lived a great life, full of rich experience and life lessons. She is sweet, caring, and entertaining. And I really enjoyed spending that time with her. And of course, we got less than 20 kids come for candy and the ones we did see were either a little too old or a little too young to be partaking in the tradition, but everyone got candy nonetheless.

After the triumphant return of my cousins from their trick-or-treating adventures, I once again retreated to my room where I spend most of my time. I pawed through the combined seven pounds of candy and picked out a couple of choice items when no one was looking but I hate to eat it all at once so half of it is still scattered across my desk in the usual haphazard fashion. I went to bed pretty late, deciding however not to stay up to usher the beginnings of NaNoWriMo into the United States east coast.

There was a loud pogirls gingerbreadunding on my door seconds before it opened at 8am on Saturday morning. And who should it be but my older sister and her boyfriend! To say I was overjoyed was putting it mildly. Although I couldn’t get too excited on account of the fact that it was early and had yet to have my coffee. Luckily, they had thoughtfully stopped by Dunkin Donuts and procured some essentials: coffee, donuts, and bagels.

I spent the morning sitting around, chatting with the pair of them as the rest of the house went about its business. It’s been about 3 months since I’ve seen my family and always feels so good when I do. Plus I got a proper hug which is always nice. Seeing them on skype (like we did for pumpkin carving) just isn’t the same as seeing them in person. Even if we do nothing more than talk. But we went out exploring to my campus briefly before adjourning for lunch at a Chinese buffet. Now that was a damn good deal. The three of us ate for about $25 total! Can you believe that?

Happily full we made our way back to the house where my sister’s boyfriend immediately went into the bedroom and passed out. He had been driving all night to get here and they still had another 12 hours to go before they arrived at the final destination: Florida. So we let him sleep while my sister and I caught up a bit more. The rest of the family went to church and we took naps which was quite pleasant.

After, the rest of them went to a Halloween party and my sister and I watched “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” on Netflix. I was so happy to just be in her company and so relaxed. It was better than my night out contra dancing. Unfortunately, after the movie, she woke up her boyfriend who showered and they prepared to hit the road again. It was nice to see them while it lasted, even if it did put me a bit behind on my homework 😉

They left around 10:30pm and I decided it was time to get a jump on my NaNoWriMo. I sat down and banged out about 1,700 words before 11:50pm and sat back to bask in my glory of awesomeness. Then I promptly changed, brushed my teeth, and passed out in bed.

Sunday was definitely designated to be homework day and I was up and at it by 8:30am to make up for lost time. I complete a paper due on Tuesday and found the appropriate movie clips to accompany it. I also read everything for my Monday class and half for my Tuesday class, counting on having today to finish up. After that, I wrote another 2,500 words or so for NaNoWriMo and then officially gave up on doing real work so I watched an episode of Sherlock. And as much as I love that show, this episode made me sob like a brokenhearted fool so it was probably a poor decision to watch before bed.

So I dragged myself away from my laptop and curled up with Snow Like Ashes, which I am really getting into. Sure it’s about civil war in another realm and there is lots of death and destruction but the main character is interesting and the idea that she hails from a land of permanent winter makes me jealous. Oh, and on that note, I found out that my little sister’s city had about 8 inches of snow on the ground by the end of the day yesterday. Also making me jealous. The best we’re going to get down here for awhile is rain and that’s not nearly cold enough for me.

Now I’m off to finish Tuesday’s homework and possibly write more for NaNoWriMo. But that should help explain why I didn’t have any postings this weekend! Lots to do, I’ll be back again soon.

Original Works Friday: The Mountain

I am a mountain.

I cannot assist those who wish to climb me,

The route is treacherous.

I cannot rescue those who fall prey to brambles and roots,

The way is often hidden.

I can only stand proud and true to myself,

A test of time and faith.

I can only be the journey or the destination,

For those who seek it.

I can grant the greatest view to those who have the worth

To discover the peak.

I can offer shade and solitude, comfort, strength, and support,

A veritable plateau of beauty and resolve.

I cannot bow to the will of those who wish me

To succumb to them.

I cannot kneel before the wind, droop before the sleet, snow, or rain,

Or fall completely before pick and axe.

I am the serene award that awaits the steadfast,

And the willingly courageous.

I cannot assist in the climb but the view from the top

Will be worth the trouble.

I can accept many to begin the journey

But few will make it out of the trees.

I can accept several out of the treeline

But few will make it to the snow barrier.

I can accept a couple past the snow,

Silently supporting those who wish to continue.

I cannot belong, however, to more than one for all eternity.

No more than one claim, one flag may be staked.

I am the mountain and only one will be able to say

They were the first to be welcomed into the gentle embrace

Of my colors, my sharp edges, my summit,

And the unique view that is my honor to share.

I am the mountain.

kahtadin