Month: March 2015

Not. 

My thoughts exactly.

Of life she writes.

I thought I was broken.

I thought something inside of me was broken.

I’m not

And It’s not.

I’m pretty whole.

One piece slowly glued back together with time.

If you observe really slowly and carefully you can get close enough to see them

The scars

The cracks

The little white remnants of the glue that’s holding me together.

But I’m whole.

And all my pieces are exactly in their place.

I’ve got people inside of me

Slowly watching

To see if any of my pieces slip and fall away

They pick up my pieces and slowly put them back while I add the glue in each crevice

I’m whole, not because I made it that way

But because of people who surround me

People who care about me

People who watch pieces fall and pick them up for me

You cannot even imagine how grateful I am.

To have…

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SPRING BREAK!

Hi all!

My most humble apologies for my absence in the last three weeks. I had some crazy days leading up to my spring break and then by the time it was all over and I was able to go back home to visit my family, I pretty much swore off technology and the internet so I could really enjoy my time in New England. But I’m here with an update and maybe I will even post a new work for you tomorrow to make up for it. Forgive me?

Here are a few of the things I did while on hiatus:

-had family Pi(e) day including at least a dozen different pies and gamesspring break irish bread

-went bridesmaids’ dress shopping with my bestie (we’re still deciding)

-met a couple of adorable new kitties but I wasn’t ready to adopt

-went wedding dress shopping with my older sister (she said yes to the dress!)

-also picked out the bridesmaids’ dresses at the same time

-spent some quality girl time with my mom and sisters

-made Irish soda bread (with black currants) from scratch for the first time

-made my first boiled dinner all by myself for St. Patrick’s Dayspring break boiled dinner

-went swimming (indoors, obv) with my mom

-had dinner with my grandmother and great aunt

-helped my mom pick out mother-of-the-brides dresses

-went wine and cheese tasting with my mom and her friend

-watched season 8 and 9 of Smallville

-watched season 2 of Eureka

-avoided all schoolwork

-snuggled cats

-drank non-French Vanilla coffee

-slept in as much as possible

-went snowshoeing for the first time…and wanted to die after 2.5 hours and 5.5 miles

-ate freshly made donuts minutes after they were done, still warm

spring break hikeSo I think that mostly catches you up on what I’ve been doing. I have also been totally swamped with schoolwork, four classes instead of three in grad school is A LOT of work. I apologize if I disappear again to deal with that. I’ve also been struggling with some OCD flairs and some depression and anxiety. But I am so thankful that I had the time off to go home and be surrounded by love. And grateful that I have such an amazing support system that takes my calls any time that I need them to.

Thank you for your patience and I promise, I will try not to neglect you for as long in the future. But just in case, here’s what I’m reading right now:

currently reading 3.26.15

I have also been drawn back into The Chronicles of Nick by Sherrilyn Kenyon and am currently on book 2: Invincible. I was just in a mood to read about a sharp-mouthed Cajun who fights evil while trying to figure out himself, girls, and puberty. Good fun. And builds off of her Dark Hunter series…so, pick up one of these if you want something interesting to read.

Until next time, take care and as always, feel free to leave comments and remarks!

Book Review: White Cat

white catIf the world knew about magic, would it be a happier and more accepting place or more full of fear and distrust? This was just one of the questions running through my mind as I explored this option with Holly Black.

Cassel is a normal guy in an abnormal family. And by that, I don’t just mean that his mom is in jail and his father is dead. No, he is a non-worker in a family of magic workers. Not to mention that they are all con artists or criminals in one form or another.

Cassel thought he escaped the life by attending a prestigious prep school but the past catches up with him more rapidly than he can outrun it. His former best friend, the one he killed, begins to haunt his dreams along with a mysterious white cat that keeps showing up everywhere. And the more, Cass digs into what really happened to Lila, the more secrets he uncovers that definitely should have stayed buried.

When a sleep-walking incident gets him thrown out of school, Cass has to recover his balance or be subjected to further scrutiny from his family. He doesn’t fit in with them but also knows that he somehow does, the accidental murder makes him more like his brothers and grandfather than he likes to admit.

A witty, sharp, and slightly disturbing book that digs deep into a normal world filled with magic, and even worse, laws against it. It’s a typical teenager story gone completely awry. There is death and destruction, hatred and misguided love all wrapped up and wound so tightly with secrets that it’s hard to tell what the next reveal will be.

After reading The Iron Trials by Cassandra Clare and Holly Black, I became more intrigued by this author’s work. And after reading this novel, I know I will be back for more. Black’s style is smooth and easy to read. The details don’t burden the overall story and in fact, give you something more to hold on to…especially when you want to scream and cringe and cry.

Live In Your Strength

Last night I received some cheesy but much needed advice…from a bag of tea. Yogi Tea Products puts inspirational notes on the tags of all of its tea bags and I’ve been trying to drink a cup of their “Detox” tea every day to help filter out some of the junk that lives in my body and immune system. Yesterday’s inspiration was the title of this post: Live In Your Strength.

What does this mean to me? This means being true to yourself and owning who you are, not letting other people talk you down or be ashamed of what you need to get through the day (even if it’s a hug and chocolate bar). Lately, I’ve been feeling a little like someone else is running my life and I have been running myself ragged to please them and not getting what I need in return, not a good feeling.

So I’m going to embrace who I am: a neurotic, OCD-filled, anxious, organized, perfectionist, detail-orientated, nerdy, affectionate, loyal person who gets in her own way a lot and doesn’t have as much confidence as she should.

And that’s OKAY.

I’m not perfect. I have flaws. And not everyone is going to be equipped to deal with them. And that’s okay. Because I have an amazing support system of people who love me and care about me and who genuinely want what is best for me. So the only people I need to think about other than myself is them.

My strength lies in my willingness to help and to take the lead, to reach out to others, my strive to succeed, my caring nature, my support for those I love, and my ability to push others and myself to be their best. My strength lies in navigating the world in such a way that works with my quirks, not against them. Yes, I am growing to be more flexible and patient. And this year, I have a goal to be more positive. But that’s doesn’t mean I have to change who I am entirely…or even all that much. Sometimes all I need is to take a deep breath, a step back, and look at the option that will play to my strength, not prey on my “weakness”.

How are you going to live in your strength?